Saturday, May 19, 2007

Like a streak of lightning

They say Time + Crisis = Humor. I think "they" got it partially wrong.
It should really read: Time + Disaster Averted = Humor. Like Thursday, for instance. I had my two cute nephews from Maryland visiting me.

Blond-haired and blue-eyed, they are 3 and nearly 5 years old. They look up at you and say funny things like, "You worry too much," when you caution them not to lean too far over the deep end of the pool.

They had been playing outside with Speilberg for a while, and I thought I'd peek my head out the back door and see how things were going. At just that moment, he decided to show the nearly 5 year old how his air-soft gun works. They were across the yard.

Speilberg was explaining things and then he pointed the gun away from them (like we've taught him) and took a shot. Mind you, all this is taking place in slow motion and instantaneously. I see this white ball, surprisingly small yet looming impossibly large at the same time, come hurtling through the air and right

Zchping! It smacked right into the inner corner of my left eye.

Here is where I tell you that maybe my S.M.A.R.T. Habit this Saturday should be to mind my P's and Q's a little better. I used to have a tiny (okay, maybe a wee bit bigger than tiny) problem with my language. While I wasn't ever exactly a sailor mouth, a colorful word or two (or maybe too many to count)has been known to cross my lips in a moment of frustration or you know, potentially life or limb threatening situations. Shocking, I know. Or maybe not so much, I do have definite limitations.

Thankfully, I've since reformed(mostly, there are still those periodic life-threatening situations). But Thursday, when that white ball of fury shot out of the sky like a streak of lightning and smacked me in the eye, I have to admit my reaction was a bit lacking in class.

Out of shear surprise, and in shock but of course, not anger, I screamed, "You shot me in the eye, da**it! You shot me in the EYE!" Did you believe the "not anger" part? My eye is a limb I have become very attached to and it was definitely feeling threatened.

Those words that you may have used in order to sound cool when you were a teen have a way of dropping in for a visit, unannounced. A sort of potty-mouth flashback and only when all the kids are there to hear it, and maybe some of the neighbor's kids too. I never thought about it, it just slipped out. I'm sure the neighbors were thinking, "Here we go. She's finally lost it."

Luckily, it hit me on the inside edge of my tear duct and only just left a scrape on the inner part of my eye. My son came running in from the yard crying, "I didn't mean to," and thinking he had blinded me. It hurt like a, well like a match had been put out in my eye. I kept my hand over my eye and let Speilberg think the worst for the moment. He ran into his room feeling terrible. I ran for the bathroom mirror to check if I could still see and to assess the damage.

Speilberg came to the door while it was closed and begged to talk to me. I let him know that I was okay and then we talked about accidents and how no one means for them to happen, but they still do. And that is why we have to be so careful with guns, even air-soft ones. (His are taking a break in the cupboard).

It was all a fluke, a freak of bad timing, but now he knows to only take shots when and where he is aiming and to shoot only when everyone is suited up with the proper eye wear. Because it only takes once to feel horrible about something for the rest of your life.

Getting back to the humor part, my sister and I were laughing about it tonight. Swearing in front of the kids isn't the worst thing that can happen (or the greatest). I suppose we got a little irreverent about it. She was saying that up in heaven they were throwing "one more thing" - potential blindness - my way to see if I could still do it - this life here on earth thing.

It was funny at the time, and humor gets us through a lot of hard things, like having sick children and your own personal medical issues. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it sounded like we were saying that God gives us trials to see how much it will take to break us, for us to give up. But He's not like that at all. These trials that come our way are just a part of being human, and He isn't up there waiting or hoping for us to fail. He's right here with us, rooting for our succcess, and thinking, "I knew you could do it."

Truth be told, I felt blessed and protected. That ball hit me so hard that if it had been a little more to the left, I may have actually received a serious eye injury. So thank you, Lord, for giving me perspective. Things are pretty great around here even if they are a tad too adventurous!


sippinghotchocolate said...

my mother swore once. when she realised what she had done she blurted out laughing. it was so funny to hear her laugh that we all laughed too. i loved that moment because it made me realise that as hard as my mother tried to be an example she also taught us that she wasn't perfect but was trying. others might think this irreverent but these are nothing but good memories for our family.

Scribbit said...

My daughter stuck her finger in my eye while we were camping a couple years ago. She was only about 3 and hadn't a clue why mommy was writhing on the ground in agony. It seriously was the Most Painful thing and it took days before I could move my eye without dying. I would have liked to have said a choice word or two myself!